


A Mother’s Touch

by HyperKid



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Caleb is a rat, Fix It Fic, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Marion Lavorre is a lvl 20 bard, Multi, Other, discussions of trauma, in this house we check in on our friends, mentions of dead character (Molly :( ), post ep 77, the mighty nein have many issues, trauma leaves marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22013404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: Returning to Nicodranas just after Uthodurn, Caleb is worried about a certain little blue tiefling... and he knows one person who can get her to open up. All he has to do is make them talk about it.
Relationships: Beau/Yasha/Jester/Caleb/Fjord/Caduceus, Marion & Jester Lavorre, Mother & Daughter, Polynein
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	A Mother’s Touch

**Author's Note:**

> HK: Given my usual turn around, I’m sure you’ve all wondered what happens if I ~don’t~ finish a fix-it/HAVE A GODDAMN CONVERSATION YOU AMATEURS fic before the next episode... or whenever they have the discussion.   
> Mollymauk: The answer is, it goes directly to WIP Hell!   
> HK: And honestly, it varies. I’ve been able to delete a whole ONE cuz the cast shocked me by actually discussing things in the next episode!   
> Mollymauk: That’d be after the Jourrael’s heart debacle?   
> HK: It would be! This, though, this got put on the burner cuz I spent actual weeks too fucking angry to write. And got hauled out to finish basically because A) I needed that last sentence, and B) I’m still a teeny tiny bit mad cuz this one small conversation could have justified the entire fucking mess that was that trip to Zadash.   
> Mollymauk: A teeny tiny bit?   
> HK: We waited a literal fucking year for closure because they couldn’t be asked to cross a street. IMMEDIATELY AFTER TRAVIS CLASS-SWAP WILLINGHAM SAID THEY WOULD NOT HAVE TIME FOR TRAVELER CON.   
> Mollymauk: I mean it’s distinctly less compared to how mad you were?   
> HK: Yup. And Travis has since been a good boy and almost been supportive enough to make up for it. I’m waiting on the next time Traveler Con is brought up to decide.   
> Mollymauk: I’m really not sure if that’s a blessing or a curse, but at least we know. They’re busy, busy bees.   
> HK: And need more time for deep and meaningful conversations. All they had to do was ask Jester if she was ready before they got to the city.   
> Mollymauk: To be fair, they probably didn’t anticipate what would happen.   
> HK: I don’t think any of us did, really. 
> 
> WARNINGS!! Mentions of character death, trauma, daddy issues 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing at all!

Caleb woke early in Nicodranas, slipping from the room the rest of the Nein shared soon after dawn. He didn’t know if he could meet the Ruby at this hour; didn’t know when she would wake. 

But he needed to talk to someone. Somewhere the others couldn’t see. 

Somewhere Jester couldn’t shut him up. 

They’d been through Nicodranas so quickly, every time now. Bouncing from one disaster to the next, trouble after trouble. He’d been hoping to talk to Marion sooner. Hoped she’d notice. 

But things had only gotten more serious each time. 

Part of him hated to do it. It felt too much like a betrayal, sneaking around behind Jester’s back. Telling her mother on her. 

But it had become clear that she wasn’t going to do it herself. He’d hoped she would do it herself. That spending time with her mother would help her to unravel that knot inside herself. That some of her pain might come spilling out, where they could be talked about. 

He’d have given anything in the world to speak to his mother again. 

Not Jester, though. She was... difficult. 

There was something dark twisting up inside her. He knew the look too well to ever miss it, and even if he hadn’t... you only had to watch her. All the laughter, the jokes and the bright lights were all there to distract. Not when they’d met. But now? 

Now there was a strain in her eyes, a shake in her laugh when she was trying to hide her hurt. There was still lightness. Still real, unrestrained moments of joy. Each one gave him hope that she could still be saved. 

That she wouldn’t become something like him, a bundle of neurosis held together by stubbornness and fear. 

The other Nein didn’t seem to have noticed. Or perhaps it was their old pact, formed between them when they first met; don’t ask, don’t tell. It had never applied to Jester, not in Caleb’s eyes. 

The little fuck would ask all kinds of ridiculous questions, never pushing too deep but always poking somewhere unexpected. And she’d share her heart with any of them. 

Until a shadow fell over it. 

But Caleb wasn’t the right person to do anything about it. Wasn’t the right person to help anyone. All he could do was poke her to the one person he was sure could help her. The one who wouldn’t be fooled by her deflections, who knew her well enough to know all her tricks. 

And this time, he was going to be sure Marion Lavorre knew. 

*** 

“Jester is not okay.” 

He’d been pleasantly surprised to reach the main floor and been told that the Ruby was taking breakfast in her quarters. It took some persuasion for Blud to speak to her, to ask for an audience. But Caleb was always good at that, and the minotaur obviously cared for Jester. 

So here he was. The private rooms of the Ruby of the Sea. 

Marion’s eyes narrowed at the words, rising in a spill of navy blue silk from her dressing table and stalking towards him. 

He hadn’t actually been afraid of her before. She was beautiful. Influential. Definitely incisive and a lot sharper than most people he’d ever met. But she hadn’t seemed dangerous. 

Now he half expected those gleaming fangs to tear out his throat. 

“What have you done to her?” The low growl in her voice knocked the softness from her accent, overtones of Infernal coming almost as an echo to the words. 

Caleb took a step back in spite of himself. 

“Nothing... directly. But she has been... through a lot. And we have not always been able to protect her. But she has not... she cannot talk about it. Not to us.” He fell silent, forcing himself to meet Marion’s eyes. Hoping she could see the parts he couldn’t say. 

Whatever she saw, her expression softened. Her hand still reached out, immaculately manicured nails gently stroking his chin. Raising his head to meet her gaze fully. 

“Perhaps she sees how much you hide away and thinks to be like you.” 

She couldn’t have known how much those words stung, but Caleb still physically recoiled. Something flashed in the depths of gold eyes and her hand dropped. 

“Thank you for telling me. I will... do what I can.” 

There was definitely something in that pause, but Caleb was firmly in retreat mode. He stumbled back and away, eyes firmly on the floor, mumbling whatever words seemed right. 

“Thank you... sorry... I will let you get back to your breakfast.” He fumbled blindly for the door, running away in every sense but the physical... because he couldn’t actually run. 

Marion watched him go, golden eyes narrowing thoughtfully. She had seen how much Jester adored and idolised her friends in all of their previous visits. And her dear little Sapphire always learned best by example. 

*** 

The rest of the Nein had woken while Caleb was away, most of them making their way down for an early breakfast. As always, Jester was thrilled to be home, exuberant and bouncing down the stairs to beg pastries and more wonderful things from her home to share with them. 

Her smile wavered a fraction when Blud mentioned he’d seen Caleb, and the wizard was in audience with her mother. A puzzled frown flashed across but she dismissed it for now, grabbing Beau by the arm to drag her to a table. 

“You have GOT to try these tarts! They get the fruit off the ships, it comes from all over the world!” 

When Caleb did make it down to join them soon after, dishevelled and visibly twitchy, Caduceus made space for him at their table. Jester immediately bestowed another tart on him, gushing excitedly about cinnamon. 

Beau nudged a glass of water towards him, her best guess at what he might need. 

When Marion Lavorre made her entrance, one small hand gesture was enough to clear everyone else from the room. 

Caleb very seriously considered sliding under the table. 

Of course, the Nein noticed. A few brows rose. Jester spun around, her face lighting up like a sunrise as she saw her mother. 

“Mama! I was going to come and see you!” 

Marion gave her a gentle smile in return, descending the last of the stairs and crossing sedately towards their table. 

“I would like that very much, my Jester. I think we have a lot to talk about.” 

The younger tiefling nodded eagerly, bouncing from her seat and rushing to clutch at her mother’s hands. 

“Oh yes! We’ve done so much, and been so many places! I have so many things to tell you!” Then she paused, excitement flagging, and glanced over her shoulder at her friends. “I don’t know how long we will have, though...” 

Watching her deflate was like a punch to the gut. Caleb was sure the others felt it too, in the way Fjord cleared his throat, Nott shuffled her feet under the bench. They’d been the most adamant about moving on. 

He had to hope they’d understand why he’d... delayed things. 

Marion had noticed too, narrowed golden eyes in particular pinning the half orc to his seat. 

“We will make time for this.” And there it was again, a ring of steel in that normally soft voice that drew all eyes to her. All but Caleb’s, staring intently into the wood grain of the table. 

Jester’s brow furrowed in confusion, turning from her mother to the table. Purple eyes narrowed and she spun back to face them, hands on her hips. 

“Caleb! What did you say to my mama!” 

Caduceus and Beau pulled away on either side like she might target a spell at him. If he hadn’t also instinctively curled in on himself, he might have called them cowards. He couldn’t make himself meet her gaze. 

Couldn’t look at any of them. 

“I told her that you have not been doing well,” he almost whispered, the anticipatory silence of the room the only thing making the words audible. 

Jester drew in a breath like she’d been punched. Hurt, shock, and worry flicked across her face, only to be replaced by a petulant scowl. Both hands curled into fists at her sides and she stomped her foot, tail lashing. 

He half expected her next words to be Vicious Mockery. Felt the magic stirring as she gripped her holy symbol, narrowed eyes drilling through him. 

“Yussah!” She snapped, and Caleb’s head actually did jerk up. Sending? “Caleb’s not okay! Something is wrong and he won’t talk about it!” 

It was too close, almost a perfect reflection of his own words and for a moment Caleb had to wonder if she’d been spying on them. But no, her surprise was unfeigned. 

Whatever the archmage said, it didn’t seem to satisfy Jester as she threw her hands into the air, growling in frustration. 

Eyes fixed on the enraged cleric, Beau very slowly leaned sideways and spoke from the corner of her mouth. 

“You tattled to her mom and she’s ratting you out to Yussah?” 

Caleb managed a feeble shrug. Jester’s head whipped back around, blue curls bouncing. 

“Essek,” she snarled, magic flaring again, “something’s going on with Caleb. He’s been acting really weird and you should talk to him about it!” 

He couldn’t help flinching away from the words, from the idea. She had no idea, still, how much she didn’t know. How much the idea of being forced to bear his soul terrified him to the core. 

But... 

There was no one but the Nein he’d ever tell. No one else who’d bother to ask. No one else he couldn’t brush off with easy lies. 

No one whose opinion he’d care about, and this group of idiots seemed to accept him despite everything. 

Whatever Essek replied with, it was enough to soothe the tiefling a little. She was still visibly fuming, her tail almost tying itself in knots as she began to pace, muttering invectives. But the set of her shoulders relaxed, movement and action helping to burn off the fit of temper. 

Caleb was definitely not expecting a tingle of magic to hit him next, a familiar voice murmuring softly in his ear. 

“Jester seems to think you had something to talk to me about?” 

First he knew that Essek could use Sending. The smug bastard. 

Eyes dropping back to the table, Caleb shook his head before remembering the drow wouldn’t see it. 

“She is... angry with me. I spoke to her mother about how our travels have been... affecting her. Don’t worry about it.” 

It was probably just knowing the drow so well that had the low chuckle ringing in Caleb’s ears. Essek wouldn’t waste a powerful spell on a laugh. 

Probably. 

Beau shoved her chair all the way back from the table to get as far from Caleb as possible. Fjord was shooting him looks that seemed hedged between concerned and deeply amused, and Caduceus had an odd, almost nostalgic dread on his face. 

Ah. 

He had siblings. 

Finally Jester stopped her pacing to return to her mother’s side, clasping her hands once again. 

“I’m really fine, Mama, I promise! There’s nothing for you to worry about!” It sounded almost like she was begging, worry plain on her face as she searched her mother’s. 

Marion gave her a gentle smile in return that had absolutely no give in it. She raised a hand gently to cup Jester’s cheek. 

“I have seen the changes in you myself over these past visits, my love. You have been so busy out in the world, I did not have time to ask before. I will not make that mistake again.” 

For a long moment, their eyes met, Jester searching desperately for any sign of uncertainty, Marion providing none. Then Jester huffed loudly and spun away, dropping into her chair with enough force to push it back from the table. 

When she next spoke her voice was choked with tears. 

“You shouldn’t have worried her. I’m fine.” 

It was so thoroughly unconvincing that Beau broke the silence the rest had been hovering uncomfortably in, making a loud, rude noise. 

“Yeah, you sound fuckin’ peachy.” 

Jester shot her a sharp look and the monk raised both hands, shrugging. 

Marion cleared her throat, giving the group as a whole a warm, firm smile. 

“You have all decided to travel with my daughter, taking care of her as she takes care of you. I am... very grateful. There is a lot I haven’t been able to teach her of the world, here in the Chateau. I am also sure she has learned a lot that no one intended to teach her,” she added dryly, glancing over to her sulking daughter. 

A hint of a smile danced across pouting lips before being forced away. 

“I am sorry that you will be forced to delay your travel plans a while while I speak to my daughter. If any of the rest of you have anything you would like to get off your chest, I would suggest you take advantage of this time.” Her pleasant tone left no question that they were being forced to delay, though it seemed a little incompatible with her doing the forcing. 

Caleb’s head snapped up at the last few words, wary for magic, but there didn’t seem to be a spell there. 

Fjord cleared his throat a little awkwardly, glancing at the others before turning his attention to Marion. 

“I am... sorry ma’am, but we may not be able to delay. We have... a very important task to perform, and one with a time limit. We will of course try to return as soon as possible if you need more time with Jester.” 

Nothing in Marion’s expression changed as she turned her smile on him, but the warlock sank into his seat like it was a flamethrower. 

“I was not making a request.” 

He didn’t even open his mouth to begin an argument, scuffing a toe against the floor. Nott gave a nervous smile, fingers clutching the edge of the table. 

“Well... it’s just... it’s really important that we move on as soon as possible? We really don’t know where to start.” 

“Traveler Con is in eight weeks,” Jester grumbled, arms folded as she glared at the floor. 

One of Marion’s brows slowly lifted. 

“Then I suggest you tell me everything quickly, my dear.” 

Jester’s chin ducked to press against her chest. 

“Upstairs?” She mumbled into her coat. 

Marion gave her a soft smile, a hand coming to rest lightly on her shoulder. 

“Of course. Who would you like to bring with us?” 

That snapped the younger tiefling’s head up fast enough that she nearly toppled from her chair. 

“What! Why would any of them come!” 

Up went the delicately sculpted brow again. 

“What would you tell me that your closest, dearest companions should not know?” Another gold gaze flashed around the group, lingering on Fjord long enough for him to physically squirm. Then on Caleb, who refused to meet her gaze. 

Jester’s fingers twisted through the folds of one of her sleeves, picking and worrying at the fabric. She looked every inch the naughty child. 

“I don’t want to worry them over nothing,” she mumbled, squirming in place. 

“Your problems are not nothing,” Caleb said quietly, fully aware of the glare speaking up would get him, “you do not have to talk to me about it if you don’t want to but... you do need to talk to someone.” He wrenched his gaze from the table enough to meet her eyes. 

Sure enough she was glaring. But then something unexpected happened; the glare softened and she sighed, burying her face in her hands. Her next words were rather understandably muffled. 

“But then I worry about you worrying about me and it all gets stupid and recursive...” finally she looked up, tilting her head back to see Marion’s face. “Caleb. And Caduceus. And...” she paused, glancing over at the table again uncertainly, “Beau?” 

The monk leaned forward immediately, resting her elbows on the table. 

“Do you want me to be there?” She asked seriously. Jester chewed her lip and glanced around the table again. Nodded. 

“If... if you don’t mind?” 

Beau nodded immediately, pushing out of her chair and standing. 

“Where we going?” 

For that, Marion gave her a softer, warmer smile, nodding towards the stairs. 

“Up to my rooms, I believe. Is that everyone?” 

Jester hesitated again, eyes flicking between Nott and Fjord. Her fingers were twisting nervously, fang chewing at her lower lip. Something was tugging at her but she couldn’t say what. 

Fjord frowned, folding his arms on the table and leaning forward into them. 

“It’s alright if you don’t want me there, Jess,” he said quietly. This was happening now, apparently, and he wasn’t suicidal enough to question Marion on it again. He wasn’t sure why, or what exactly was happening. 

And a little worried about whatever Jester thought she couldn’t say in front of him. What hurt she had that she didn’t trust him with. 

Jester shook her head immediately, hands dropping to clutch at her skirt. 

“I don’t... I don’t want it to take too long, you know? We’ve got so much to do, and we need to get going, and I know you want to get on the way so we can get started...” her voice wavered and Marion rested a hand on her shoulder again. 

“Mrs Brenatto, your husband and your son are upstairs if you wish to spend this time with them? I believe Luc will be up soon for breakfast. Fjord-“ 

“He can come with us,” Jester cut in quickly though her face was still an agony of indecision. Marion glanced down at her, her own expression shifting through concern and patience, then up to Fjord, her expression steely. 

“So long as he keeps all comments about time to himself, yes.” There was a firm ring of threat in her voice and Fjord sank down in his chair a little even as the others rose. Nott glanced around the table, pausing with one hand on the wood. 

“Do you want me with you, Jester?” She asked, a ring of uncertainty in her tone. 

Jester gave her a smile immediately, even if the edges were a little frazzled. 

“No, you should go and see Yeza. While we’re here, you know?” 

Nott nodded, a small smile tugging across her own face, but she crossed to Jester’s side to pat her hand first. 

“You can tell me later if there’s anything important, right?” 

This time the others noticed as Jester’s smile turned to glass, brittle and shiny and overbright. 

“Of course.” 

All except Nott, who was already turning to the stairs. 

Beau’s eyes narrowed. But before she could speak, Marion was sweeping them with another steely smile, gesturing behind her to the stairs. 

“Up to my rooms then. Now.” 

Jester rose like a puppet on strings and the Nein followed both Lavorres up to the top floor of the chateau and Marion’s sprawling private apartments. As they entered, the Ruby of the Sea gave her daughter a long, critical look, then waved towards a long couch and a sprawling divan set off to one side. 

Both were large and sturdy enough for... well, any number of activities that were far from the minds of most of the group. There was also a loveseat in another corner, but Marion knew her daughter. 

“Make yourself comfortable, Jester. And the rest of you of course. There’s no need to make this more formal or uncomfortable than it has to be.” 

Jester hesitated just inside the room, looking around and apparently doing some mental math. Then she turned to look up at Caduceus looming behind her, her voice suddenly small and quiet. 

“Can I sit in your lap?” 

Surprised by the question, Caduceus blinked, then gave her a soft smile. 

“Of course. Where do you want to sit?” He glanced at the offerings as well with a more calculating eye. 

Neither couch nor divan were quite long enough for his full height, but that wasn’t exactly a surprise; more importantly, sat on the couch there would be enough room for the rest of the Nein to sit around them and cuddle up too. The divan... well. If they snuggled up close, they could probably fit onto that too. 

The same calculations were running through Jester’s mind. She leaned back a little, resting her weight against the comforting solidity of the firbolg. 

“I guess... we should sit over there?” She nodded somewhat reluctantly towards the couch. Caduceus began to move but was stopped when Marion scoffed, dropping into an arm chair and crossing her legs. 

“Sit where you will be comfortable, Jester. We may be here some time.” 

It was her hesitancy more than anything else that convinced the others that something was really wrong. Jester never hesitated; she never paused, never stopped, was never uncertain. If asked before, they’d all have said she’d have spilled her heart to any of them in an instant. 

Seeing her pause, seeing her hide, meant there was going to be something serious. 

Beau took charge, slipping an arm around Jester’s shoulders and nodding Caduceus towards the divan. 

“Come on, Jess. Let’s all go sit.” 

It didn’t even take a meaningful look; Caduceus sat himself down in the middle, guiding Jester carefully into his lap as Beau plopped down on one side, Caleb on the other. Fjord hesitated for barely a moment before sitting down at the end and guiding Caduceus’ legs across his lap. 

He shrugged when the others looked over at him. 

“It was this or start stacking.” 

It worked at least a little as Jester giggled, burrowing herself into Caduceus lap and letting her tail tap lightly across Fjord’s arm. 

Marion watched them all critically for a moment, noting how they all settled, where they kept in contact. Jester had always been keen on touch, and at least her friends seemed to understand that. She didn’t seem inclined to start on her own, though. 

So Marion prodded. 

“Where would you like to begin? I understand that you have been in quite a lot of danger of late.” There was a hint of the same steel in her gaze as it swept the Nein, pinning each member in turn. 

At her words, all motion ceased. Jester shot Caleb a brief glare which almost immediately softened into worry as her gaze dropped to her fingers. 

“I... well... yeah, there’s been a lot of trouble and stuff, but we’re all still okay! ... almost all okay,” she whispered almost as an afterthought, chin dipping and tears welling in her eyes. Caduceus made a soft noise to soothe her, one hand moving to her hair. 

Beau frowned, resting her chin on Jester’s shoulder. 

“This about Yasha?” 

“And Molly,” Jester confirmed with a stifled sob, nodding. “I know it’s not only me and we’re all scared and worrying and hurting,” she went on quickly, hands moving to play with Caduceus’ long sleeve instead of her own. 

A strained expression passed across Fjord’s face, but he didn’t say anything. Caleb nodded slowly, reaching out to steal one of the tiefling’s hands and squeezing gently. 

The name still hurt. 

“But we are here with you,” he said in a rasping voice thick with emotion, “and we are all hurting together.” It wasn’t much of a comfort, he knew all too well, but he didn’t think she’d quite gotten to the next step. “You don’t have to hide it from us.” 

Glancing from her fingers to his face, Jester managed a watery smile. 

“But I don’t want you to be hurting. I want to make you happy. I’m supposed to be the healer, I should be helping all of you.” 

“Sometimes happy doesn’t help,” Beau cut in gruffly, stealing Jester’s other hand. “Sometimes it’s important to let yourself be sad.” 

Confusion furrowed Jester’s brow a moment as she turned to Beau, chewing on her lower lip again. 

“I don’t like being sad,” she admitted in a whisper, giving both her humans’ hands a squeeze. 

Caduceus wrapped his arms more tightly around her, giving her a gentle squeeze. 

“Sometimes it’s important to be sad,” he said in his soft, gentle voice. The way it rumbled from his chest against her back dragged a small smile to Jester’s lips as she leaned back into him, head tilted back to look at his face. 

He gave her an answering smile. 

“Mister Mollymauk and Miss Yasha are gone, at least for now. It’s okay to let yourself miss them, and wish they were here. And we may see Miss Yasha again. There’s still more story there; we can try to get her back.” 

“But not if we are pretending that what has happened has not affected us,” Caleb added quietly, his own eyes fixed on fingers pink and blue. He felt their attention turn to him, didn’t bother to look up. “To keep such things stuffed deep down inside can be... painful.” 

“That a professional opinion?” Beau snorted, her immediate impulse to lighten the situation with a joke. The way Caleb looked at her made her almost want to shrink. 

“Yes.” 

A soft, distressed whimper fell from Jester’s lips as she rolled to the side, burying her face in Caleb’s neck and squeezing him tightly. 

“I don’t want you to be hurting,” she complained mournfully, her voice somewhat muffled by hair. Caleb managed a weak smile, raising a hand to rub her back slowly. 

“Then you must tell me when you are sad and upset so that I can help you too, blueberry,” he told her gently, “your feelings are very important to me.” 

“To all of us,” Fjord added from the end, very conscious of the distance between them. It was true; they’d all been carrying a lot inside, pain and worry and darkness. 

Perhaps he’d spent too long aboard ship, where you all maintained your own privacy and ignored others’ problems, assuming they’d sort it out for themselves. Perhaps he’d taken too long to trust them himself. 

Perhaps it was just easier to ignore it and hope for the best. 

But Marion was right; it was a poison below the skin, and easier wasn’t the same as good. Jester gave him a weak smile, one horn still pressed to Caleb’s shoulder. 

“So why don’t you talk about it?” 

Fjord spread his hands dramatically for effect, his very worst sincere grin on his face. 

“Did I ever claim to be a good example?” 

“More of a dire warning,” Beau snickered. Fjord slapped at her ankle and she raised it sharply, ready to kick. Both the half orc’s hands went up and he leaned back in unequivocal surrender. 

Marion watched them all, fingertips tracing absently across her jaw. So far, she couldn’t see the knot. The words seemed to come easily, concern and jokes and tender moments. 

Nothing that would have driven the wizard to her for help. 

“Do you not feel safe with them, Jester?” She asked softly, her voice once again calling all attention to her. Jester shot up quickly, accidentally shoving Caleb down into the cushions. 

“No! I mean, yes! I know they’ll take care of me mama, I’m going to be fine, I promise!” 

A perfectly sculpted brow rose and the younger tiefling squirmed. 

“They... they always come find me. Just like we’re going to find Yasha. It’ll be okay, I’ll be okay Mama. I’m safe here.” 

The slightly nervous glances she shot around the group seemed to put the lie to her words, but Marion let it rest. She didn’t feel unsafe enough to be worried about herself; didn’t want to risk even a suggestion she should stop. 

Part of Marion was glad. Jester had always been... detached. A little disconnected from the world. She loved fiercely and fast, but except for herself and Blud, Jester had never been really connected to anyone. Having someone other than her Traveler could only be good for her. 

A slight thread of worry flashed through. 

If Jester cared so deeply for them, why could she not talk to them? 

Flat on his back, Caleb cupped Jester’s wrists gently. His breath had been somewhat literally punched out of him. 

“It... is okay if you don’t,” he wheezed, snapping Jester’s attention back to him. She rolled back onto Caduceus and gently tugged him back up, a slight frown on her face. 

“I feel safe with you, Caleb. I trust you. I know you... wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Not if you had any way to stop it.” 

It was there again. The hesitation, the pause, the words weaving clumsily to try and warp the truth. Or to present it in the best light? 

Beau huffed, pulling Jester back off Caduceus and into her lap. The firbolg was watching them all with his usual soft expression, somewhere between bemused and understanding. 

“Damn right we’re not. We’re not losing anyone else,” the monk grumbled, grip tightening around her cleric. Jester cuddled back into her, eyes closing for a moment and a soft smile pulling across her lips. 

It was a hurt they could share. And if even Beau could express it, as awkward as she was, perhaps Jester would learn to as well. 

Marion’s eyes narrowed as she watched them, calculating. No, there was still something else. Jester was smiling again, falling immediately into the touch and comfort, but she wasn’t... well, she wasn’t as raw as Marion would have expected. 

Not if she had gotten everything off her chest. 

The Ruby of the Sea was quite accustomed to the aftermath of that kind of unburdening. 

And, well, fearing for one’s life wasn’t exactly unusual when one travelled as an adventurer. Easy enough to see. 

“Jester,” she said softly, her voice more gentle than it had been all day, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to upset you, or question your decisions. You are a grown woman now; all I can hope is that you can still trust my judgement. I am worried for you, my sweet girl. And I do not think I am alone in that. Please, Jester, talk to me?” 

Jester stilled in Beau’s arms, something horribly like fear on her face. Marion held out her arms and in an instant her lap was full of her daughter, squeezing her tightly enough to hurt. She ignored it, wrapping her arms around her as much as she could, one hand rising to stroke short, blue hair. 

“Please don’t worry about me,” Jester whispered, her face lost in the long black waves of her mother’s hair. “I miss you so much and I don’t want you to worry. I’m really alright, I promise. It’s not a big deal.” 

“If it’s not a big deal you should be fine telling us, right?” Beau asked, her chin now resting on Caduceus’ chest as she leaned against him to watch. 

Jester squirmed in her mother’s arms, her tail coiling enough to almost tie itself in a knot. Marion waited silently as she fiddled, locked in some kind of internal struggle. Finally she sighed. 

“I might have lied about what the Gentleman said the other day,” she whispered, eyes closing for a moment as she pressed her brow to her mother’s neck. 

The four on the couch had an excellent view of Marion’s eyes narrowing, a moment of conflict giving way to a tightly controlled anger. When she spoke, though, her voice was still gentle and her hands soft as they stroked Jester’s hair. 

“What has he been saying to you, my dear?” 

Jester worried at her lower lip, fingers twining almost automatically through her mother’s long tresses. 

“Well... I... I’ve been talking to him since you told me he might be my dad. And I asked him. And he... he always says no. And that I’m being silly. And I don’t think he cares. He keeps talking about work and he didn’t know anything helpful about the beacons and I really want to go see him and talk to him but... what if he isn’t? Or what if he is but he doesn’t care?” 

A long moment of silence fell across the group. There didn’t seem to be any words, any right thing to say that would set her mind at ease. Not when nothing but actual closure would make the questions go away. 

And who knew when they would have time for closure? 

It was Beau who broke the silence, her voice unusually hesitant. 

“Jess... he does keep asking you to come though, right? Saying he’s got work for us?” 

A single purple eye peeked out from Marion’s hair. 

“Yes...” 

“Maybe he just wants to talk to you about it in person?” The monk hedged cautiously, glancing at the others. “It’s kinda a big thing to just talk about in messages where anyone around could hear him. We don’t really know what he’s doin’ when you talk to him.” 

“If he wanted nothing to do with you, he wouldn’t ask you to come back,” Fjord pointed out with a slow nod, “he’d just tell you to stop messaging him.” 

The other eye slowly emerged as Jester turned, a hopeful little smile spreading across her face. 

“Do you really think so?” There was so much softness in her voice, so much vulnerability that it almost hurt. 

If the Gentleman didn’t want to talk to her in person, he would probably find that he didn’t actually have a choice. 

Caleb nodded brusquely, turning on the divan so he could face her fully. 

“He did not get where he is today by being timid, Jester. Or unwary with information. It could be very dangerous for both of you if the wrong people thought he was even considering it.” 

“And if it turns out he isn’t, you’re no further off than you were before you thought he was,” Caduceus added thoughtfully, a small smile on his lips, “and we still know that you’re looking for a water genasi. There can’t be that many.” 

“There aren’t that many firbolg,” Caleb noted with a slight smile. 

“And we’ve seen like, six times as many,” Beau cut in, giving Caduceus a nudge. 

Jester mock pouted, forcing the expression over something much more like her normal smile. 

“I don’t think we can count the Pumats separately, Beau... they’re kind of a special case.” 

“What are these Pumats?” Marion asked softly, smiling down at her daughter. Seeing the way the others soothed her, coaxed her back from her fears had settled the Ruby’s hackles somewhat. 

They may not take the initiative to push the conversation themselves, but they seemed ready enough to have it if someone else did. 

When Jester spun back to her, her face lighting up with excitement, some of the weight seemed to have lifted. She was sat up, eyes bright as she clapped her hands enthusiastically. 

“Oh, I’m sure I’ve told you, Mama! He runs the shop in Zadash, well, they all do really, but we don’t see Prime a whole lot. He sort of stays in the back.” 

It would have been impossible for Marion to hide the smile, even as she shook her head. 

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about, my love.” 

There were a few stifled giggles from the couch, and then Beau pushed herself up. 

“He’s a firbolg who runs a magic shop in Zadash. But like, there’s four of him.” 

A delicately sculpted black brow rose. 

“Four?” 

Jester nodded enthusiastically, clasping her holy symbol and popping out a duplicate. 

“Yeah, like this! But his can all talk and move and have their own minds and stuff. They run the shop for him and they’re really cool!” 

“He is pretty cool,” Caduceus agreed with a fond smile. 

Jester’s duplicate waved to all of them, bobbed a quick curtsey, and disappeared as fast as she’d come. 

Doing her very best to understand, Marion looked from one to the other, her brows furrowed. 

“That... does sound rather interesting?” She offered a little hesitantly. Jester nodded happily, bouncing in her lap. 

“We should go see him too. I bet he’s had time to make some more cool weird stuff!” 

This got a wide approval, the rest of the Nein exchanging looks and grins. 

“We can show him your sword, Fjord!” Beau grinned, reaching out a toe to poke the half orc’s hip. A broad grin bloomed across his face and he nodded, turning to look up at Caduceus. 

“You did get the hilt from him, right Cad?” 

The firbolg nodded happily, an arm slipping around each of his human companions. 

“That would be nice. I’m sure he’d be very interested to see the enchantments on it.” 

“I wonder if he knows about ice flex?” Jester mused. The idea must have sparked something, because she gave another happy bounce, spinning back to her mother. “Oh! We saw an ancient white dragon! And Nott and I robbed its lair!” 

Unable to quite find the words, Marion blinked slowly a few times, perhaps hoping that the words would resolve into some kind of sense. Or at least mean something else. 

“An... an ancient dragon?” 

Fjord and Beau flinched in anticipation, the latter squeezing an eye shut and peeking warily from the other at Marion. But she didn’t seem... angry, not anymore. 

To be fair, Jester had always been exactly the kind of woman that would tackle a dragon at a whim... not unlike Reani herself, honestly. It might have been the kind of certainty that came with the personal attention of a god. 

As conversation switched to their recent adventures, the mood lightened. Marion was an extremely good listener, and when she wasn’t listening with intent to wound it was easy to get lost in the stories. Jester and Nott were both more enthusiastic than cohesive story tellers and soon Beau was being sucked in. 

They had done... a lot since leaving Nicodranas, and stories kept having to be paused to go back a little further and explain more context. Finally, now that he felt a little safer, Fjord brought them all back to when they left for Felderwyn so they could fill her in on everything Yeza wouldn’t have been able to. 

It took most of the day to recount their adventures, and Marion had meals brought up to them and the Brenattos. Nott dropped by for lunch to see when they would be leaving. 

One look at Marion’s face and she quickly changed the subject and asked if they’d like to come and see Luc for a while. 

As they left, Marion told them all they’d have a room for the night with her once more with the kind of serene, peaceful smile that threatened to turn to steel if tested. 

*** 

Jester fretted about the time they were losing as soon as they were gone from her mother’s side. About six apologies in, Beau cut her off, catching both of the tiefling’s hands in her own. 

“Jester. If you’re that scared of going to see the Gentleman... if you’re really not ready for answers, you know we can just not go, right?” 

The sudden change of subject caught the tiefling off guard and it took her a moment to catch up. Then her expression crumpled and she stared down at their entwined fingers. 

“But it’s already been so long,” she whispered, voice pinching around a sudden tightness in her throat, “and I don’t know when we’ll ever be there again...” 

A large, green hand came down on her shoulder and she turned enough to meet Fjord’s gaze. The half orc’s expression was unusually sincere, open and concerned. 

“We have two weeks of travel for you to decide, but if you don’t want to talk to him yet, we will go back to Zadash. Whenever you’re ready.” 

Jester searched his face for a long moment, and the fact that she felt she had to made him feel about six inches tall. Maybe Marion hadn’t been entirely misplaced in her anger... 

“But we need to find the beacon... and get to Traveler Con...” there was a trace of uncertainty in her voice, her fingers twisting in Beau’s grip. 

“And we need to do the shit you wanna do too, Jester,” the monk told her firmly, giving her hands a firm squeeze. “We’ve been side tracked, sure, but you still deserve answers. Just on your own time, yeah? You don’t have to rush just cuz you think we won’t come back.” 

An almost reluctant smile crept across Jester’s face and she nodded, turning her hands enough that she could hold Beau’s in return. 

“Promise?” 

It was Caduceus who answered this time, resting a large hand on top of her head and smiling down at her. He may not really understand what made her tick, but this was refreshingly in his wheelhouse. 

“I promise. And hey, if that means we wait until after Traveler Con because you’re not ready, that means we wait. Something this important, you don’t want to rush in before you’re ready. You wanna do it right. We can talk about it while we’re on the road too, if you want?” 

This time it was a real, sunshine bright smile as she perked up, tugging impulsively free of Beau to wrap her arms around the firbolg. 

“Aww, Caduceus! Do you mean it!” 

A little surprised by her response, the firbolg smiled gently down at her and hugged back. 

“Sure. Whatever you wanna talk about, you can always come to me. I’m a real good listener.” 

“He is,” Fjord agreed with a grin, nodding to the firbolg, “an’ I’m not as good, but I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like you can’t talk to me about this stuff. You’re a real important friend to me, Jester.” 

“To all of us,” Caleb chipped in quietly, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. 

Nott was squinting around at the lot of them, putting the pieces together in that way that only the best detectives could. 

“Is this about your dad, Jester?” She asked shrewdly. 

Jester’s cheeks flushed faintly purple and she nodded, leaning in to rest her weight on Caduceus. 

“It’s just... we’re going to Zadash again... and... and... and I know we’re gonna be really busy, but it’s been so long... and I don’t know if I want to see him.” Her voice trailed off until it was almost a whisper at the end and she buried her face in Caduceus’ shirt. 

Nott looked entirely perplexed by the idea, looking from one to the others of the rest for any hint of a clue. Caleb just shook his head at her and she reluctantly backed down, shaking her own head and stepping back. 

“Do you think we have to stay overnight again? If we’re going to see the Gentleman too we should probably head out...” 

Fjord visibly flinched at the thought. 

“You can tell the Ruby that if you want to...” 

“I can talk to her,” Jester volunteered, surfacing from the folds of Caduceus’ shirt, “we’ve got pretty much all we need to head out anyway.” 

“I think she wants to be sure we’re gonna take care of you first,” Beau said slowly, visibly uncomfortable to be saying the words. 

Glancing towards Caleb, Jester frowned for a moment before her expression softened. He looked so thoroughly dejected, like he’d already been lectured for hours instead of part of the lecturing. 

With a soft sigh, she shook her head, pulling away from Caduceus. 

“I’ll talk to her, you guys go get stuff ready if you want to go this afternoon? Are you sure you’re ready to go already, Nott?” 

All eyes shifted to the goblin woman, who squirmed for a moment under the attention. 

“I only have so many more disguise spells left in a day,” she admitted quietly, one arm wrapped around her. “I’m pretty much tapped.” 

There was a long moment of silence, broken by Jester as the tiefling leaned down and gave Nott a smooch on the top of her head. The goblin girl shimmered, and then Veth stood before them all. 

“Go say goodbye,” Jester told her with another pat on the head, then nodding to the group at large. “We can go in another hour.” 

*** 

No one knew what Jester actually said to her mother to convince her, but soon enough the cart was brought to the front of the Chateau to be loaded with provisions and adventurers. The Ruby herself came to see them off. 

Caleb caught her again on the stairs; there was one thing he had to know. 

“What would you have done if she had not agreed to speak to you?” 

There was always a chance that one of them would have to know. That Jester would start tying herself up in knots again once they were back on the road. 

Marion gave him a distinctly knowing smile. 

“You would not have been able to leave.” 

Which could mean any number of things. The wizard frowned, trying to parse why. 

“You think Jester wouldn’t go without your blessing?” It didn’t sound like the feisty young cleric. 

If anything, Marion’s smile grew wider. 

“You underestimate me, Caleb Widogast. I have told you before just how much responds to my Wish.” 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: The eight weeks estimate for Traveler Con was given by Matt in episode 77, and later retconned after the Happy Fun Ball because Laura was ~right~ those bitches woulda missed it. I ranted on twitter for WEEKS.


End file.
